My family used to love going to Hawaii when I was young. On one of our many trips to the Aloha State, I remember we had taken a boat ride with a guy who was wearing a very interesting aviator watch. It was a Brietling. And I was absolutely fascinated by it.
I didn’t know what a Brietling was, of course. I was a kid of about 9 with a fascination for watches. Once the battery died in the cheap watches I had, I used to love taking them apart to see how they ticked. The Brietling I saw on the man’s wrist that day, sparked a strong desire inside me to own one. I knew it was expensive, though not how much, and decided that when I grew up and made 100,000 dollars, I would also wear a Brietling.
At the age of 25, when I had stopped eating out for a while or doing anything fun that cost a lot of money, I finally saved the 100,000 dollars I had set as my goal, and bought myself a Brietling. It cost me 4,000 dollars – 4% of my net worth at the time.
To this day, I treasure my Brietling watch. I wear it sometimes, and fondly remember the goal a young boy had set in his mind to own one.
When I made that goal I did not know what success meant at all. Now, when I am sitting down to write about my idea of true success, I find myself wondering if ownership of that watch at the age of 25 had made me feel successful.
I do not remember.
Because success is a shifting goal post, and as soon as we achieve one, we set out to achieve another. There is always another level of success. And another, and another. It’s the natural progression of life. If you don’t change and grow and set new goals, you die.
So what is true success then, if we’re always running around, trying to achieve a series of smaller, less significant ones?
I believe true success is a deeply personal scorecard. And each person has a different judgement on what that true success is.
For some people, it is winning a lottery. For some, it is having 5 million dollars in the bank. A beautiful house in an upscale neighborhood, with a smart car in the driveway.
For me, those are just things. Things that in the end, decay and wear out and seem less exciting to the owner as the novelty of ownership wears off. Studies have proved for instance, that two years after winning a lottery, the winners are no happier than they were before they won. Material goods, such as an expensive home or loads of money, lose their charm when you get used to them. And then that empty feeling comes back again, and you’re looking for a new thing to chase after. Because you believe you will finally be happy when you have it.
And then one day you die, and it all comes to nothing. The fancy car in the driveway does not care who will drive it now. The million-dollar home does not care if Lucy, Greg, Sally or Mike will be living in it.
Only people care. And only people remember.
I see a lot of success stories around me every day. But I don’t remark on the material kind. For me, true success is a father who has patiently waited for his kid to win a battle against brutal cancer. For me, true success is the couple who has managed to keep their marriage intact through all the trials and tribulations that parents experience when their child is laid up in a hospital bed, attached to tubes, fighting for weeks and months for his life.
True success is Pastor Daniel in India, who I helped during my mission work in the country to run orphanages and homes for dispossessed widows and lepers who had nowhere else to go. Always short on money, and always worrying about his flock, Pastor Daniel never showed any sign of giving up on his mission to help people that nobody else will.
These kind of successes are not based on happiness or sorrow but the ability to handle any given situation and stay consistent until you reach the finish line. They lie in not losing heart and not giving up.
As an entrepreneur who has built several companies, I suppose I could measure my own success in material terms too. But the true success in my life, the one that will last long after I am dead and gone, is what I do to help other people. Standing fast and standing true in the face of difficult odds, and knowing that God is always by my side as I almost scare myself by the enormity of the task I am undertaking sometimes to help other people.
But this work brings me a deep and lasting joy. As does my family. My wife, who has put up with me for 12 years, through some really rough patches in our marriage when I could hardly put up with myself. My kids, who appreciate the quality time I spend with them instead of trying to buy off their affections with expensive toys. My business partners, who have let me help them and guide them through some severe personal crises over the part year, from which they are now coming out as better versions of themselves…
Have you ever really thought about what true success means for you? Have you ever asked yourself that question?
Ask. Know. Because from that point on, you will rightly be able to judge if you are on track. And not get blinded by the dazzle of small things.
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